The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

I adore Tolkien and his works. I absolutely love Peter Jackson's adaptation of The Lord of the Rings but I've been a little on the fence about The Hobbit. The last movie in The Hobbit trilogy comes out today. I was expecting to see it Friday night. My parents even said they preorded tickets for Friday night. Last night, my mom said we were going to see The Homesman. She said she really wanted to see it and I'm always up for going to the movies. My dad was on the fence about going but ultimately decided to join my mom, sister and I. My mom went to buy tickets while my dad, sister and I headed toward the entrance to the theater. And then my mom comes over with no tickets and says something to my dad about getting them printed by the person who checks the tickets. Looking back, that should have been my first clue that something weird was going on. Then my mom starts whispering to the person who collects the tickets. It was about that time that my sister and I realized that we were actually going to see The Battle of the Five Armies and not The Homesman. It turns out that when my mom had gone to order tickets for Friday for The Hobbit, she noticed that there was a showing at 7 on Tuesday night. So our parents decided to surprise my sister and me, and we went to see it last night. My sister and I were crying once we realized what was going on because we both knew what was coming and neither one of us had had time to emotionally prepare. Let's just say it was a good surprise but very emotional.

Ok, now that my long story is over, let's get down to business (to defeat the Huns). I even have a list of things I want to talk about in regards to the movie. To begin, this is not going to be an entirely pleasant review. You've been forewarned. Firstly, in case you didn't know, the Tolkien family is not happy with the Peter Jackson movies. Any of them. And if Jackson had led with this series instead of LOTR, then I would fully agree with the Tolkien family.

There have gradually been more and more changes in The Hobbit movies and it's become a little unrecognizable as Tolkien's Hobbit. For example, in the book, several more of the dwarves in the company die. Bilbo is also not really a part of the battle. He puts the ring on and gets knocked out because no one can see him. Then, no one can find him so they think he died. He barely makes it back in time to make amends with Thorin, who dies off the battlefield after the battle is over. The Dol Guldur escapade is different as well. The White Council is able to send Sauron away easily because he is not strong enough to stand against them, whereas in the movie he's strong enough to fight them. I will say I found the Galadriel part interesting. In The Fellowship of the Ring when she tries to take the ring, she's still beautiful because she's in control. In Dol Guldur, she's being partially controlled by Sauron so she's a lot scarier when she loses it for a second. I also appreciated that she mentioned Morgoth, because The Silmarillion is my favorite. Another thing that I didn't like was the giant worms that the Orcs used to tunnel under the earth. The only "worms" in Middle Earth are the dragons, who were also called the Worms of Morgoth. So those burrowing worm creatures were not canon.

And now for my biggest issue that many other people love: Tauriel. I have no issue with Jackson creating a female elf because he thought the movie needed more women. What bothers me is the Tauriel/Kili relationship. No dwarf and elf would ever fall in love. It's not how Tolkien wrote them. And since he's the expert, I tend to agree with him. Dwarves and Elves are simply too different for a romantic relationship. Legolas and Gimli are proof that they can be friends but I cannot see it extending past that. Just, no. My greatest fear was that Jackson would save Kili so that he and Tauriel could be together. One of the saddest things about the end of the book is that the line of Durin is completely wiped out because Thorin and his nephews all die. I was so happy that they killed Kili because it's such an important part of the story.

I know it sounds like I absolutely hated the movie but that's not true. There were several things I liked. Of course, the music is one of the biggest things, although the music at the very beginning was very un-LOTR sounding. However, it was definitely made up for with Billy Boyd's song "The Last Goodbye". It was the perfect song to end the series and the Middle Earth adventures. I also adored the pig and ram steeds. In Middle Earth, people don't just ride horses. They also ride elk, pigs, and ram. They were so cute and I definitely want one. And let's not forget Beorn, falling out of the sky as a bear. I thoroughly enjoyed that. One of my favorite things in LOTR is the way that enemy lines meet at Helm's Deep and Pelennor Fields. Battle of the Five Armies did not disappoint in that regard. I was so excited to see the dwarves crouched down, waiting for the orcs to attack. And then bam! Elves overhead. That made me happy. Oh, and Billy Connolly as Dain? He was adorable. And let's not forget Bard and Legolas talking. I could barely contain my laughter because they're practically twins. I also liked that Legolas was sort of sent to find Strider, because they do know each other before LOTR.

Ok, last couple comments. The burning of Lake-town. That was a really cool scene, watching Smaug destroy the city. But my favorite part of the movie was Douchebag Thorin. And yes, I have made that into his title because if we're honest, he totally becomes a douchebag. And it was handled so well and done so beautifully. I loved watching him lose his mind. He goes so crazy and nuts and it's really hard to like him. As Bilbo says, how could Thorin think that his kin would ever betray him? They are so loyal to him and love him so much. I loved what Dwalin and Kili both said to him, about not wanting to watch their kin from the Iron Hills die while they hide away. And I love that you can see the change in Thorin by how he dresses. When he's consumed by the dragon sickness he is dressed in robes lined with fur and wears a crown. But when he comes to rally the company and ask them to follow him one last time, he's dressed simply, as he was in the beginning. And it's amazing how much 13 dwarves can change the tide of a battle, simply because the King is leading them. Thorin is without a doubt one of my favorite Tolkien characters, and I am so happy with how Richard Armitage portrays him. Even though his death was different from the book, it was still just as terrible and heartbreaking.

I know it seems like I didn't really like the movie. I did, but not in comparison to the book. I really had to focus on seeing the movie as a separate entity from the book. On its own, the movie was good and a satisfactory ending to the trilogy. I love the actors (Martin Freeman is perfect), I adore the scenery, and I just love the music so much. While I will miss Middle Earth, I am glad the series is finally over.